I'll think for myself

Oh sure I understand

Ha, I have to don't I?

I'm always forced to keep secrets

to tell lies to the world

I don't have a choice?

Ha, you think you can control me?

I'm my own person

I can think for myself

I don't need your crapor your lies

Get out of my face, Don't Even Say Good Bye!

The Words You Must Say...

Have you ever felt

    the weight of the world

standing on your shoulders

Like one decision

could consume everything

just one thing could take it all

You feel like like all you can do

is pray everything would be ok

pray god would bless the words you say

Cuz this decision you must make

could distroy everythign today

you look to god with love in your heart

"Take my life and salvage hers today."

It tore me up

It   tore   me   up

When    he    told    me    his    deepest    secrets

It    tore    me    up

when    I    realized   I    cared    about    him

It    tore    me    up

When    he    flirted    with    her

It    tore    me    up

when    I    got    jealous    or    her

It    tore    me    up

when    I    told    him    I    liked    him

It    really    tore    me    up

when    he    said    he    could    never   see    me    in    that    way

Here for a reason

God blessed me today

I survived

I used to ask him 

Why he put me in this place

I hated myself and everyone around me

He never gave me an exact answer

But after he let me live through that car wreck

I believe there really is something extra special in store for me... 

Band

 ~People ask us how we do it 

we say with hard work and determination

 ~People ask what we get from it

we say the sense of achieving our best and life long friends and memories

 ~People ask us what we learn from it

we say responsibility, leadership, good character, and commitment

 ~People ask us how tough it is

we say some days it's blistering sun, sweat burning our eyes, and cramps all over should give them the idea

 ~People ask why we do it

we say all the above 

Torn

          have you ever felt torn?
                    you don't know what to do

                           or what side to choose

                                  one mistake could change your future 

                                            I know that place

                                                     It's hard to get past it 

                                                              especially when you aren't just torn

                                                                               between 2 things 

                                                                                   but between your mind, heart, and

                                                                                                      three men

                                                 Bro...

I've known you since I was 7

we used to always rough house at recess

I tackle you

you tackle me...

But now were all grown up

now were both 14

we had drifted apart

until you got hurt.

you asked for my help

now were closer than ever.

I know your not perfect

a few more cop issues than we'd wish

and I've been the goody-goody

with the hidden foul lip

but now everything seems more real

your goofing around

may have hit the big time

we'll get the news in a matter of hours

all I can do is think about you

how we always used to rough house at recess

all the games of tag we used to play

youve had a hard life at home,

I wish I could heal it all away

 and to think all those years

that I'd forgot about you...

if you get locked up now,

I don't know what I'd do!!!!

Your just like a bro to me

With out you I'd never feel free~

?Questions?

Who is she going to be with?

What kind of party is this?

Where is the party?

Why does she want to go to this party?

When is the party going to be?

Was the party supposed to have drugs?

Were you lying to me?

Sometimes questions could save your kids life.

Just because you ask questions doesnt mean your being nosey,

Maybe you just want to look after your kids.

It is a mothers natural instinct to look after their babies

Dont hold that against them, they just love you! <3

What Have I Done?

When I go to school,

I sit alone on my own.

Trying to slip silently through classes,

but every class some trips me or kicks me or,

in the last class a prep even cut my knee.

He just laughed and showed off his knife happy with glee...

I couldn't take it!

They always did this to me.

I'd sit down and ignore them,

but their laughing just stung me.

The next day I woke up.

Blood cold and stiff faced.

I bitched out my mom,

she didn't like how i dressed,

"Why not your usual? A white shirt and blue pants?"

With my sagging black jeans and black makeuped face.

It scared everyone away.

I was mad and hanging on the edge.

I wouldn't take it anymore.

Then a guy went by,

he used to be my friend,

"freak get away! You look like a witch with a zit face!"

I wanted to cry,

yet I knew I had to stand strong!

Then when I saw a prep with a knife in his pocket,

I looked at his face.

He was the guy,

he'd cut me!

I grabbed the knife from his pocket.

Turned him around and cut a slit across the top of his cheek.

Told him if he fucked with me again,

he'd get more than a slit.

" I'm sorry!" he cried holding his cheek with fright.

He ran away and I heard him call me a fucked up bastard.

Suddenly I felt a pain in my hand.

I'd clenched the knife in my fist so hard I bled.

I looked in a mirror.

What have I done?

I wasn't myself.

I wanted to die.

To die without even saying good by...

Friends

Friends are the most important people

they make you feel good

they help you with homework, your sports, and chores

they can really help you with guys/girls 

they are people who care about you

they hang out with you

they make you feel better

even through all the bad weather

they lend a helping hand

they even lend a shoulder to cry on

they love to talk about their problems

they like you to talk about your problems

it doesn't always work out

not always the way you'd hoped

you may get into fights every once in a while

but if you work hard at it, it's all worth while...

Thinking

As we sit thinking

 about our friends

we cry

we scream

we even want to die

but we know

that after today

all will be alright

in many ways

So we wait

for the perfect day

as we try to say

I'm sorry...

Why?

How can you be this way?

You use a new girl every day

I thought I loved you

But u got me and then it was through

My friends warned me

But your bad side I just couldn't see

Why did I let you do this to me?

How Do I Feel, is it you that is miss?

I've moved on now to a better guy

Why is it that I'm now mad at you, why?

I didn't care at first

But now I'm about to burst!

I feel like dying I feel so used

You sit back and smile u wern't the slightest bit abused...

The above poems are all written by me.

If you like them, let me know...

Here are some poems,

that I got from e-mails and forwards

BOYS
A heart is not a play thing,
A heart is not a toy,
But if you want it broken,
Just give it to a boy.

Boys they like to play with things
To see what makes them run, 
But when it comes to kissing,
They do it just for fun.

Boys never give their hearts away
They play us girls for fools,
They wait until we give our hearts
And then they play it cool.

You will wonder where he is at night,
You will wonder if he's true.
One moment you will be happy,
One moment you will be blue.

If you get a chance to see him,
Your heart begins to dance.
Your life revolves around him,
There's nothing like romance.

And then it starts to happen,
You worry day and night.
You see, my friend, you're losing him.
It never turns out right.

Boys are great, though immature.
The price you pay is high,
He may seem sweet and gorgeous,
But remember, he's a guy.

Don't fall in love with just a boy.
That takes alot of nerve.
You see, my friend, you need a man
To get what you deserve.

So when you think that you're in love,
Be careful if you can.
Before you give your heart away
Make sure that he's a man.

 ****In Memory of The Columbine Students Who Were Lost****

Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
But Mommy, when I went school that day,
I never said good-bye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Chris; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll by waiting for her now,
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best;
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.
Mommy I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all  I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you."

Dont cry for him